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Are you someone who had no idea they were gay? Are you someone who didn't figure out you were gay until you were an adult? This concept is so foreign to me as I have known I was gay since I was 4.  How do you not know what you are feeling? I mean straight people never say they didn't realize they were straight until they were in college.
If you are one of these people, can you explain how you didn't know? Did you just not know what to call it but you had same sex attraction all along or did you not have same sex attraction and then one day you did? I am pretty sure the org clan had little to no confusion as to what was going on with themselves  If you did, I'm interested to hear your thoughts  2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Me? I'm totally straight, but I had no idea you were gay!!!  | |
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hokie1 said: Me? I'm totally straight, but I had no idea you were gay!!!
Well you're a gorgeously well-endowed minx and they are generally confused 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Man, I'm already jacking your thread baby, but this is KIND of related, so maybe it's valid input. I don't know. You decide.
When I was 19 I met one of the most incredible women on the planet. She's a genius, she's funny, sensitive, clever, and drop-dead gorgeous. I can't even look at her to this day without blushing. She's got the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, my heart is skipping beats just thinking about her! 
For some reason, she had a lapse in judgement and was very interested in me. She initiated everything. We had a relationship for about 7 months until I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I was leading her on and being dishonest: she was never going to be "The One" for me. Succinctly, she didn't have a penis.  But it KILLED her. And me. I think about her all the time. I've never been loved so unconditionally. Nobody's ever made me feel more smart or special. And taking care of her was literally instinctual--I still go through withdrawal periods of waking up at night, worrying about how she is and if the person she's with is treating her like royalty or not.
Basically, no matter how hard I tried and how much I wanted to be with her, I simply am not gay. It's such a shame, though. Because for her, I really, really wanted to be. We still talk every once in a while but it breaks my heart because I love her so much, and I hurt her so badly. These days, I could fool around with a girl (after all, women are breathtaking), but men are truly what make me feel weak in the knees. It's a son of a bitch. 
All these gay men who lie to themselves and marry women are a fucking shame. What a waste of time for you and the woman you've wed. I can't understand, like you, how it could remain COMPLETELY dormant until one day in your 20s or 30s, you experience some sort of brain shift. Unless pressured by a TON of fear or homophobia for most of your life. And really, I'd hate to think this situation is THAT prevalent anymore, at least in western civilization. Enough fear to believe lies about your OWN orientation?Oh shit, my hat done fell off | |
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Why does everyone want so desperately for me to come "out"? 
You know what? Fuck this. I refuse to be labeled. I'm outta here.  | |
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My friend came out when we were still at school. I can't say I was all that surprised as the signs were there. He used to love films like 'The Birdcage' and encouraged us to camp it up when we had to divise a dance to 'Carwash' during PE (don't ask). We grew apart although I here he has a girlfriend now (or did)! There's Joy In Expatriation. | |
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Oh lawd, here's my brokeback story....
I'd fooled around with guys in the neighborhood growing up, but never thought anything of it since I grew up in rural Alabama essentially, and homosexuality wasn't just a nasty sin, it was unseen. I didn't meet my first "out" gay person until I was 15 when we moved into the City, and I went to work at a Chinese restaurant where he worked. Anyways, when I was in the military (8 years), I had 5 people come "out" to me  , two of them male.
The last one was actually my best friend at the time and it was one of those experiences that seemed scripted for a really bad gay romantic comedy. Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually identify as gay, bi-sexual, or bi-curious, though I do find men attractive (please don't ask me to explain--it could take pages and pages of poorly worded, badly spelled, words), as I have a general preference for women. Sooooo. I had a little mancrush of sorts on the guy, and I think the thing I was most drawn to was his vulnerability. Here I was, this guy who flirted with gayness and loved the speculation some would have about me, drawn to this guy who had absolute self-loathing for that side of him. And trust me, this dude was not bi-curious--he was ggggaaaaayyyyy. Albeit a straight acting gay man, such was his self-loathing that he was able to control his mannerisms. I was about 25 years old by this time, coming off a few years of gorging myself and readily available Tampa poontang, so I always saw this mancrush as nothing more than something fun to do. Until, a couple of years past, and our friendship got stronger. It was at this point that I knew it was probably teetering on full on, dick-slapping love, but I didn't want to give up my semi-promiscuous lifestyle and he was getting out of the service and needing to find direction in his life. Sooooo, he moves to North Carolina, marries a woman, has a child and I'm like WTF??? 
I was so disturbed by this decision that I cut off all ties with him, mostly because I couldn't understand how he could let this poor girl, madly in love with him, throw away her life towards an illusion. I mean, coming to terms with your own life is one thing, but dragging innocent bi standards with you? That's kind of selfish and cruel. But other than that, my relationships with men is greatly compartmentalized. I have boating buddies, gym buddies, club buddies, etc., but no true male companion anymore. And come to think of it, my friends are pretty much dwindled away anyways.
Fuck this, I don't need to explain anymore. I refuse to be labeled.
. [Edited 8/13/07 12:41pm] | |
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"Bi Standards"
Thank you Jana and Dan for sharing But neither one of you would claim you had no idea as to your feelings would you? Jana, you said you knew you weren't gay but you found yourself in a situation where you were attracted to that person and it didn't matter but were you ever unsure as to whether or not you were gay?
And Dan, same question It's not like you didn't know you had mancrushable feelings right?2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: "Bi Standards"
Thank you Jana and Dan for sharing But neither one of you would claim you had no idea as to your feelings would you? Jana, you said you knew you weren't gay but you found yourself in a situation where you were attracted to that person and it didn't matter but were you ever unsure as to whether or not you were gay?
And Dan, same question It's not like you didn't know you had mancrushable feelings right?Nah, I think I always knew I was 90%(?) straight. I did everything I could to hide it from myself, but I don't think there was any point in my life where I had any doubt whatsoever. I mean, how can you? How? Even in the most extreme circumstance? Is there anyone that out-of-touch with themselves? Oh shit, my hat done fell off | |
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Imago said: Why does everyone want so desperately for me to come "out"?
You know what? Fuck this. I refuse to be labeled. I'm outta here. what about our "lost"days in san francisco?..you know the ones you told me not to talk about? weren't so mad then. [Edited 8/13/07 13:10pm] | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: "Bi Standards"
Thank you Jana and Dan for sharing But neither one of you would claim you had no idea as to your feelings would you? Jana, you said you knew you weren't gay but you found yourself in a situation where you were attracted to that person and it didn't matter but were you ever unsure as to whether or not you were gay?
And Dan, same question It's not like you didn't know you had mancrushable feelings right?OMG, I'm soo totally not trying to make it more complicated or "mysterious" than it is, but here goes.... When you grow up in a world of that tells you what you're "supposed" to do, and you're not offered much in the way of alternatives, you end up believe it. I never believed my mancrushes were anything more than little blips on my road to Poontopia. But I've had friends who love women very much, and don't identify as being gay in the least, who have admitted to having strange crushes on me. I found that the age where this seems to happen is around 19 to 25 years of age in guys. It's like they love women, but they don't know absolutely they do, and here I am with my lucky charms and it confuses the fuck out of them. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like you know, but you don't absolutely know? I think it's different with 100% gay men, cause vaginas are screech worthy things to them, and the grow up with a certain amount of guilt over it. They would ponder on it more, no? I've also had bi-sexual friends, friends who had absolutely no preference one way or another, and I found they had much less guilt in them about their sexual orientation, and they were also pretty damned slutty, male and female. The military is basically, very very gay. You should have been there with me--it was a trip. | |
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I had a very good friend in high school who I had no idea was gay, well kida some of his mannerisms made me question him. He wa supposedly very in love with me during high school and even stopped talking to me because I would not be his girlfriend, he didn't want to be just friends. Well my aunt just saw him at a wedding a few months ago and he was dating a guy [Edited 8/13/07 13:10pm] Rhythm floods my heart♥The melody it feeds my soul | |
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Imago said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: "Bi Standards"
Thank you Jana and Dan for sharing But neither one of you would claim you had no idea as to your feelings would you? Jana, you said you knew you weren't gay but you found yourself in a situation where you were attracted to that person and it didn't matter but were you ever unsure as to whether or not you were gay?
And Dan, same question It's not like you didn't know you had mancrushable feelings right?OMG, I'm soo totally not trying to make it more complicated or "mysterious" than it is, but here goes.... When you grow up in a world of that tells you what you're "supposed" to do, and you're not offered much in the way of alternatives, you end up believe it. I never believed my mancrushes were anything more than little blips on my road to Poontopia. But I've had friends who love women very much, and don't identify as being gay in the least, who have admitted to having strange crushes on me. I found that the age where this seems to happen is around 19 to 25 years of age in guys. It's like they love women, but they don't know absolutely they do, and here I am with my lucky charms and it confuses the fuck out of them. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like you know, but you don't absolutely know? I think it's different with 100% gay men, cause vaginas are screech worthy things to them, and the grow up with a certain amount of guilt over it. They would ponder on it more, no? I've also had bi-sexual friends, friends who had absolutely no preference one way or another, and I found they had much less guilt in them about their sexual orientation, and they were also pretty damned slutty, male and female. The military is basically, very very gay. You should have been there with me--it was a trip. i think i understand. its like i think everyone is bi or gay, and no one is totally straight. Its all just sex, NOT being gay or straight, just sex. And its normal. There are certain types of women I could fuck, but for the most part I like men. I knew who I was sexyually atractted to mostly around the age of 7 when I was told what those lables ment. Had I understood earlier maybe I would have identified with them earlier. I hate the catagories and lables too. It makes me think of a boy in high school who came on to me once, and he joined the wresteling team. | |
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Not me. I knew I was gay even before puberty.
In kindergarten this boy kicked a football to me and I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed do with it. That's when I knew I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt. | |
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rushing07 said: Not me. I knew I was gay even before puberty.
In kindergarten this boy kicked a football to me and I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed do with it. That's when I knew oh damn. Just label me gay then | |
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Imago said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: "Bi Standards"
Thank you Jana and Dan for sharing But neither one of you would claim you had no idea as to your feelings would you? Jana, you said you knew you weren't gay but you found yourself in a situation where you were attracted to that person and it didn't matter but were you ever unsure as to whether or not you were gay?
And Dan, same question It's not like you didn't know you had mancrushable feelings right?OMG, I'm soo totally not trying to make it more complicated or "mysterious" than it is, but here goes.... When you grow up in a world of that tells you what you're "supposed" to do, and you're not offered much in the way of alternatives, you end up believe it. I never believed my mancrushes were anything more than little blips on my road to Poontopia. But I've had friends who love women very much, and don't identify as being gay in the least, who have admitted to having strange crushes on me. I found that the age where this seems to happen is around 19 to 25 years of age in guys. It's like they love women, but they don't know absolutely they do, and here I am with my lucky charms and it confuses the fuck out of them. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like you know, but you don't absolutely know? I think it's different with 100% gay men, cause vaginas are screech worthy things to them, and the grow up with a certain amount of guilt over it. They would ponder on it more, no? I've also had bi-sexual friends, friends who had absolutely no preference one way or another, and I found they had much less guilt in them about their sexual orientation, and they were also pretty damned slutty, male and female. The military is basically, very very gay. You should have been there with me--it was a trip. See, I think the whole thing is suppression and denial but even then you still know right? 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Imago said: OMG, I'm soo totally not trying to make it more complicated or "mysterious" than it is, but here goes.... When you grow up in a world of that tells you what you're "supposed" to do, and you're not offered much in the way of alternatives, you end up believe it. I never believed my mancrushes were anything more than little blips on my road to Poontopia. But I've had friends who love women very much, and don't identify as being gay in the least, who have admitted to having strange crushes on me. I found that the age where this seems to happen is around 19 to 25 years of age in guys. It's like they love women, but they don't know absolutely they do, and here I am with my lucky charms and it confuses the fuck out of them. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like you know, but you don't absolutely know? I think it's different with 100% gay men, cause vaginas are screech worthy things to them, and the grow up with a certain amount of guilt over it. They would ponder on it more, no? I've also had bi-sexual friends, friends who had absolutely no preference one way or another, and I found they had much less guilt in them about their sexual orientation, and they were also pretty damned slutty, male and female. The military is basically, very very gay. You should have been there with me--it was a trip. See, I think the whole thing is suppression and denial but even then you still know right? That's like folks who say they think your being gay is a choice though. It's projection. You know know what, Fuck this. I refuse to be labeled. | |
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Imago said: Oh lawd, here's my brokeback story....
I'd fooled around with guys in the neighborhood growing up, but never thought anything of it since I grew up in rural Alabama essentially, and homosexuality wasn't just a nasty sin, it was unseen. I didn't meet my first "out" gay person until I was 15 when we moved into the City, and I went to work at a Chinese restaurant where he worked. Anyways, when I was in the military (8 years), I had 5 people come "out" to me , two of them male.
The last one was actually my best friend at the time and it was one of those experiences that seemed scripted for a really bad gay romantic comedy. Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually identify as gay, bi-sexual, or bi-curious, though I do find men attractive (please don't ask me to explain--it could take pages and pages of poorly worded, badly spelled, words), as I have a general preference for women. Sooooo. I had a little mancrush of sorts on the guy, and I think the thing I was most drawn to was his vulnerability. Here I was, this guy who flirted with gayness and loved the speculation some would have about me, drawn to this guy who had absolute self-loathing for that side of him. And trust me, this dude was not bi-curious--he was ggggaaaaayyyyy. Albeit a straight acting gay man, such was his self-loathing that he was able to control his mannerisms. I was about 25 years old by this time, coming off a few years of gorging myself and readily available Tampa poontang, so I always saw this mancrush as nothing more than something fun to do. Until, a couple of years past, and our friendship got stronger. It was at this point that I knew it was probably teetering on full on, dick-slapping love, but I didn't want to give up my semi-promiscuous lifestyle and he was getting out of the service and needing to find direction in his life. Sooooo, he moves to North Carolina, marries a woman, has a child and I'm like WTF???
I was so disturbed by this decision that I cut off all ties with him, mostly because I couldn't understand how he could let this poor girl, madly in love with him, throw away her life towards an illusion. I mean, coming to terms with your own life is one thing, but dragging innocent bi standards with you? That's kind of selfish and cruel. But other than that, my relationships with men is greatly compartmentalized. I have boating buddies, gym buddies, club buddies, etc., but no true male companion anymore. And come to think of it, my friends are pretty much dwindled away anyways.
Fuck this, I don't need to explain anymore. I refuse to be labeled.
. [Edited 8/13/07 12:41pm] Thank you for the  material!!!!!
Carry on..... MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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rushing07 said: Not me. I knew I was gay even before puberty.
In kindergarten this boy kicked a football to me and I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed do with it. That's when I knew had I known that the boy kicking the football was doing it because he was scared he was gay, my whole teenage years would have been much different. | |
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Imago said: rushing07 said: Not me. I knew I was gay even before puberty.
In kindergarten this boy kicked a football to me and I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed do with it. That's when I knew oh damn. Just label me gay then
There was only one moment in my entire life when I thought I could be bi. When I was 15, I had a wet dream about a girl from my school. I woke up terrified and curious at the same time. And yet as soon as I became fully conscious, even slightest attraction to her went away. Never had a wet dream about a girl before or after. [Edited 8/13/07 13:24pm] I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt. | |
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Me? I've been gay all my life. I used to flirt and fall in love every five seconds when I was 5 years old.
Chuck was his name.....*sigh* I did mess around with girls for a while. Then at 15-16 years old I came out. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: Me? I've been gay all my life. I used to flirt and fall in love every five seconds when I was 5 years old.
Chuck was his name.....*sigh* I did mess around with girls for a while. Then at 15-16 years old I came out. Google Vida Guerra. I guarantee you'll have a a flashing hetero moment if you do. | |
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I knew the first moment I fell in love. Defining moment, as I never had given it any thought. Well, not consiously anyways.
What happens to me alot is that I am attracted to non-feminine, straight acting guys and therefor often find myself in the position that married men hit on me, or feel comfortable enough around me to experiment. Or to ASK me to experiment. Some people just want an experience and do not want to be labeled; loads of men with gay tendencies end up married. It's just their own preconceived notion of what a gay man should be, I suppose. They think we're all Jacks (from Will And Grace sitcom) and then get confused when they meet guys not conformed to that stereotype. I had a lengthy fling with a self-described heterosexual. He would start relationships with girls and as soon as he broke up, he came running to me. I did not mind (HOT fellow) and tried to help him define what it was that made him describe himself as straight, while making out with me. He had the cutest way of describing it; "Herman, I am just gay for you." In the end I cut the recurring theme, as I liked him too much and we were becoming friends and I did not want to lose that. He's now married, two kids and his wife knows about me. Funny thing, that. We tease him relentlesly. | |
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RodeoSchro said: | |
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Imago said: RodeoSchro said: Seriously, did you read their affidavits? These guys have issues. | |
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RodeoSchro said: Imago said: Seriously, did you read their affidavits? These guys have issues. Well, were the men making obscene gestures to them?
I mean, gay men aren't known for their inhibitions. | |
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HamsterHuey said: I knew the first moment I fell in love. Defining moment, as I never had given it any thought. Well, not consiously anyways.
What happens to me alot is that I am attracted to non-feminine, straight acting guys and therefor often find myself in the position that married men hit on me, or feel comfortable enough around me to experiment. Or to ASK me to experiment. Some people just want an experience and do not want to be labeled; loads of men with gay tendencies end up married. It's just their own preconceived notion of what a gay man should be, I suppose. They think we're all Jacks (from Will And Grace sitcom) and then get confused when they meet guys not conformed to that stereotype. I had a lengthy fling with a self-described heterosexual. He would start relationships with girls and as soon as he broke up, he came running to me. I did not mind (HOT fellow) and tried to help him define what it was that made him describe himself as straight, while making out with me. He had the cutest way of describing it; "Herman, I am just gay for you." In the end I cut the recurring theme, as I liked him too much and we were becoming friends and I did not want to lose that. He's now married, two kids and his wife knows about me. Funny thing, that. We tease him relentlesly. That's hot. It would be kind of cool having a male friend who only wanted to suck me off or lick my ass from time to time, with none of the emotional baggage. | |
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Imago said: RodeoSchro said: They can go into all kinds of dangerous situations but can't handle some sexual remarks out on the street. Well at least now they know how women feel when (and I'm not saying they all do this) they whistle at women or ogle their bodies. I don't know how I feel about the chief making them be in the parade though. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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Imago said: RodeoSchro said: Seriously, did you read their affidavits? These guys have issues. Well, were the men making obscene gestures to them?
I mean, gay men aren't known for their inhibitions. Highlights from the affidavits: -One firefighter, after hugging his own gay uncle and the uncle's life partner (whom he also calls an "uncle"), saw a man with a t-shirt that said, "Have you ever ridden a fat man?" This caused the firefighter's knees to shake. No, really! -"Several times I witnessed men blowing kisses at me with sexual undertones." No shit? So there are other times you see men blow kisses at you WITHOUT sexual undertones? -These guys actually requested a Crisis Intervention Team, because they couldn't stop talking about being around gay people. Alas, no one came out because it was too late in the day. Awwwww, poor babies! -"A question that has been plaquing me on this past week of sleepless nights and worry-filled days: Why am I not being afforded equal treatment? What did I do to deserve this? And they have been sleepless nights and worried days. I have been plaqued with headaches since this occurred. I am having trouble at home." Are you freaking kidding me?!? | |
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